February 15, 2004
Nightmares
My coworker Anne is in a production of The Diary of Anne Frank. She is playing Anne Frank's older sister, Margot. It is at an independent theater, and there are several performances a week, so she usually rushes off after a full day at work to be in the play.
Anne doesn't get paid. The only person getting paid is the man who brings the cat that plays Mouschi, and he runs an agency for cats willing and tame enough to perform on the stage so he always gets paid, no matter what the role is.
It has been a little stressful at work lately, and the time Anne spends on the stage at night in addition to the full days she spends at the office are wearing her down. On Friday, in the elevator, she looked exhausted.
Turns out she has been having dreams at night about Nazis. They come storming up the stairs, she explains, and she knows that they are all going to die, that they did all die, and every night she has to reenact it, she volunteered to reenact it. Just once, she says, I'd like for the family to get away.
In the play, the family is found out after Peter falls off a chair. He falls, and it creates a tremendous racket that alerts the thief downstairs. It's not certain who really turned the Frank family in, but in the play it is implied that the falling chair was the crucial moment.
I am worried about Anne because she is working so hard and then acting in a the play and then having nightmares about Nazis - Nazis who are never seen on the stage, and who only exist in imagination.
What would happen, I asked, if for one night, the chair didn't drop? Is it absolutely necessary for the chair to drop every night? Would the audience feel betrayed if it didn't?
Anne explains that it is built into the play. There is no way to keep the chair from dropping without changing the play, and they have licensed the play, so it can't be changed; everything on the page must take place. And what's more, the story is too important to change. It is based on a real event, to change it is to toy with dynamite.
She was right, and I knew it. Anne Frank is betrayed and murdered every night in an off-off Broadway play. There is no way to change this. It is history, and amateur plays can't change history.
We went though our day. We were tired, and the work was rote, but we did it, because everyone needs health insurance. At the end of the day Anne got up to leave. What if you didn't go at all? I asked. What if you just waited here?
I don't have an understudy, she said.
That's even better. If you don't have an understudy the play can't go on. You can't do the diary of Anne Frank without Margot, she is essential. If you don't show up, they will have to cancel the play. If they cancel it, then tonight Anne Frank will not be killed.
She looked at me sympathetically.
That would be nice, but it would be like wishing she hadn't been born.
She picked up her coat and walked to the door.
I have to go, I'm sorry, Anne Frank is already dead.
(if you would like to see this play you can find out more here.)
