December 07, 2004
Word of Maw
At one grocery store, Gabriella asked a manager why there was no Al Fresco sausage available. At a second store, she dropped a card touting the product into the suggestion box…. She even wrote to a local priest known for his interest in Italian food, suggesting a recipe for Tuscan white-bean soup that included Al Fresco sausage." From an New York Times Magazine article about BZZagent, a Word of Mouth marketing firm.
Beep:
Hi. It’s me. Alex. I’m sorry, listen, don’t turn off the machine. Please. I want to explain.
You have to believe me, I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand. It started so innocently. Tara at the office came up and asked, “Hey, Alex, have you tried those Al Fresco Chicken Sausages?” And I said, no, I hadn’t. But something about the way she said it: “Al. Fresco. Chicken. Sausages,” it had a kind of echo to it, a ringing sound, and it stuck with me.
That night on the way home I felt something just on the edge of memory; a faint movement, like a shadow in an old movie, was pulling me forward. I got off the train at the next stop and walked into the PathMart. I went straight to the information booth and I surprised myself by asking, “Where are the Al Fresco Chicken Sausages?”
“Oh, those just came in,” the lady at the booth said. “I think you’re the first person to ask about them.”
For some reason that appealed to me – to be the first person to hear about these sausages. I was a pioneer.
I paid for a box of them, hurried home, and heated them up a in pan with light oil. I ate them with a piece of French bread and some mustard. And they were great. I’m not kidding. I know after everything that’s happened you might find this hard to believe, but I honestly loved those Al Fresco Chicken Sausages. I was already an authentic Chicken Sausage Agent before any of this happened.
I don’t know how they first got in touch with me. The Buzz agency I mean. It might have been the survey form I filled out on the box of Al Fresco Sausages. Maybe a marketer found my name on one of the cooking forums where I was evangelizing about the stuff. But somehow they got my name, and they started to send me offers.
Hey, buy one get one free.
Hey, send this to five friends and you can get an Al Fresco meat basket.
Hey, take a box of coupons.
Before long I had more sausage than I knew what to do with. And that’s when the Hive contacted me for first time.
I started small, with a monthly barbecue for my friends, (You were invited, you never came) I served up Al Fresco Chicken Sausage to my neighbors. Later, when people at work asked, "Hey Alex, what are you doing tonight?" I’d make a point of saying, “Oh, nothing, just grilling up some Al Fresco Chicken Sausages.” I’d leave notes at the supermarket – More Al Fresco Chicken Sausages! I’d defend Al Fresco Chicken Sausages whenever anyone criticized them. It gave me something to believe in.
And the Hive loved me for it. Julie sent me encouraging emails:
>>To Alex
>>Re Al Fresco Chicken Sausage
>>Hey! You go Tiger! Keep up the good work!!
She recommended I try some new promotions. Hey, read this book The Frog King! Hey, try this anti-puff eye makeup -- helps hide the tears! And I tried, I really did. But I didn’t love those products. I couldn’t get into them. So instead of promoting them I redoubled my efforts to promote Al Fresco Chicken Sausages. If I couldn’t be the most versatile bee, at least I’d be the most specialized.
So yeah, sure, eventually things got a little weird. Following the Hive’s suggestions, I started to visit Barnes and Noble bookstores to ask if they had any Al Fresco Chicken Sausages. When they said, “no, we’re a bookstore” I’d offer them a sample link, which I kept warm in a special plastic pocket I had sewn into my jacket. I showed up to the office Christmas party with a festive array of Al Fresco Chicken Sausages strung around my neck like a lei. I wrote an open-source manifesto about Al Fresco Chicken Sausage and distributed it under a creative commons license in PDF form. When telemarketers would call I’d say: “Hey, can you hang on a second, I’m just cooking up some Al Fresco Chicken Sausages.” Then I’d make frying sounds and go "mmmm.” I called this technique "Swimming Up Stream" or "Forcing the Ball Though the Bottom of the Hoop," and it worked so well the president of the Hive sent a message to everyone telling them how great my idea was, and encouraging them to do the same.
And yes, I did sneak up to children and whisper that their mothers would die of cancer if they didn’t eat enough Al Fresco Chicken Sausage. That was where I got into trouble. Where I crossed the border into Cambodia, as they say.
After the article came out the Hive disavowed my existence. Julia blocked my email, canceled my account. I got a few messages from their lawyer asking me to stop promoting Al Fresco Chicken Sausage altogether.
And eventually the campaign ended. Just like that. There was no big announcement, no parade. Everyone just dispersed.
Everyone but me, that is. It was too late for me. I had gone too far. I was word of mouth.
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Learn more about WOM at Bzzagent.com
And be sure to check out the bzzblog, where you'll learn:
1) marketing is a natural and inevitable expression of capitalism. 2) there are shady marketers just as there are shady priests, doctors, parents etc.
3) people ultimately have free will.
Thank god. No more existential dread for me... Pass the sausage!
